By the Pound

Sometimes I feel too optimistic, like my optimism in this ideal scene that I envision for myself keeps me from connecting with reality. For example, I have this idea that I'd like to be a consciousness coach for an organization or for a roster of individual clients. I picture that, through answering and asking questions and helping them understand their own journey of consciousness, that I could help them live a more aware, successful lives.

And my ideal, optimistic self hangs onto this idea, wants it, and instead of treating it like a North Star, something to aim for, I think I have this sense that that is the only thing I'll accept. I think it keeps me from engaging in the tangible here and now. It feels the perfect being the enemy of the good.

I think we actually get to the ideal through the work in the day-to-day. What if I let the thing become and evolve? What if I were to look for the threads, to pull on in the now? I feel like I could pull it toward me, or pull myself toward others.

What if I were just OK with things being imperfect and in-progress, and iterative, instead of holding out for only the perfect, finished piece? I think I'd get there faster.

It reminds me of the story of the pottery instructor who gave his students a choice at the beginning of the semester to be graded purely by the weight of the pottery produced: so many pounds for an A, so many pounds for B, etc., or to be graded on a single pot that would submit at the end of the semester. The instructor noted that those who chose to be graded by the pound produced much more beautiful work at the end of the semester because they were engaged in a regular practice and in continual improvement. Those that were preparing to produce one amazing pot engaged in a lot of theory, which the work didn't always live up to.

I think I'll start grading myself by the pound, by the pounds of email, the pounds of outreach and the pounds of effort. I'm sure there will be some duds, but I look forward to seeing what kind of beauty that effort creates.